Goose Egg

So there I was, stepping out of line to take my turn at catching a pop-fly at my softball practice. I bent my knees and rocked side to side on the balls of my feet. Ready.
The ball cracked off my coach's bat and sailed through the air. I turned on my heels and ran to the right attempting to catch the ball over my shoulder. What a dumb move. As the ball neared my mitt, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to snag it out of the air but it was too close for me to react.
BAM! The ball came and hit me right under my left eye on my cheek bone. It stung but my eyes only teared up as the other girls on my team rushed over to check if I was ok. They were more scared than I was.
One girl touched where I had been and said," Holy s@*t! You can see the laces of the ball on your face." I must have been hit pretty hard but I didn't care. I had been hit harder before and I really don't want to wear one of those girly clear masks to protect my face. They are stupid and you cannot see out of them. Plus part of the game is getting hurt. If that means having the red goose egg on my cheek then I guess it's worth it.

Music

Everywhere you go it follows you. Can you ever get away from it? There's always the beat of your shoes on the ground or the rush of the wind. Music is everywhere.

It is the beat by which my life lives. My shoes tap, my heart beats, my breath pants. It's all around us. A universe without music is like a universe without life. We would be plain, and boring. For there not to be music, there would have to be no sound at all. Could you imagine?

Everyday I come home and listen to my tunes. It winds me down and lets me think. Could you live without music? Even a simple beat like that of your heart? I think people would go crazy without it. We would die and be complicated. I need music... Do you?

My new Haircut

Haircut

So yesterday, my dad told me he was gonna take me this weekend to get my hair cut. I am trying to decide what to do with it. On one hand, I want to cut it really short (like at my chin) and layer it and cut my bangs. I think it is so cute that way. Plus, it's different and if I dont like it, it'll always grow back. When it's short, it takes me 15 minutes less to do so I can sleep in. This is my hair now:

On the other hand, I like it long and just want to trim it. I think it looks pretty and I like the long pony tails. But, it's a hassel in the mornings. Plus, summer is coming and I want it short for this hot season.

Curly

Ok so in my last post, I said I was going to curl my hair..... but I didn't. Sorry everyone. I just straightened my hair and it looked amazing. I didn't want to ruin it. Maybe I'll try again some other time.

Delay....

Whoo-Hoo! Today is a two hour delay. Thank you snow! But what do you know? I can't sleep hahaha. Man! On delays, I always plan to sleep in but I never can. Now I am going to be all tired and stuff today at school :( O well. At least I have time to work on my homework.

Oh, and I am going to curl my hair today for like the first time ever! I hope it turns out good but idk... haha. I will put a picture of it on my next post. I can never do it though because I don't have enough time to experiment...

Anyway, I can't think of-- WAIT! I forgot! Today is a regular scheduled day. No testing today so do your homework if you are reading this.

Today should be a good day (at least I hope). I'll blog again soon :) Bi for now.

Drifting

After reading my friend Quinn's blog, I have a few things to say about the people who are making a big deal over losing friends. This is kinda mean so no one has to read it.

Ok so for one, these certain people need to suck it up. Someone isn't really a true friend if they call you a bitch behind your back or if you fight with them every day. It's not worth it to cry over them. Friend will always come and go.

Second, most of these people don't know what true heartbreak is. God! Sometimes it just pisses me off. I bet mostly everyone who complains about this stuff didn't have to move all the way across the state they are living in and leave all their friends behind. Can you even think of that? Everyone is making a big deal about the IB program is going to ruin friendships, but it's not. We still live by each other and can still hang out. When I moved from where I was born, I left everyone. My friends and I couldn't even hang anymore because I was all the way upstate. Not to mention, I am not friends with most of them anymore. I cried and still cry over losing those people because I know we would still be friends today.

Third, people think their lives suck. Oh get over yourself. Are your parents divorced? Did you have to leave all your childhood friends behind never to see them again? Did your Uncle and Great Grandma just die? Do your parents talk s#*t about each other to your face? No, I didnt think so. Your lives don't suck. Mine doesn't either but sometimes I just hate everything and everybody. I sometimes wish that I stayed where I used to live. Maybe my parents would still be together. Maybe there wouldn't be so much drama. Maybe, I would be happier....

No, moving was a part of my life and it has helped to shape who I am. No one here in the town I live in now, or anywhere for that matter, knows who I really am and what happens in my life. I bottle it up so no one feels sorry for me. I hate being pitied most of the time. No one knows what hurt I have seen or been through. You cant even see it in my eyes because I don't let it show.

I never want anyone to pity me because I don't want people to think I am one of those people who makes a big deal over everything and who thinks that their life is terrible. I have learned to put everyone else before me. Everyday, I shield my emotions with a mask so I am the happy person everyone knows even when I want to break out and cry.

Sure, it's not good always to bottle it up but that's the way I am...... My feeling are my own and I keep them to myself. My life sure isn't perfect but I keep riding on through like more people should do.

My advice is to think more about others and less about yourselves. You can do more good that way and you don't have to bring people down with your bad attitudes. Think, your life doesn't suck.

Stress

You can't escape it. It's like the monster under your bed; when you finally think it's gone, it creep out from under your bed and scares you again.

I absolutely hate being stressed. I get moody and I am mean to my friends. Lately, I have been stressed a lot. I have had my IB application to finish, friend problems, volleyball tryouts, softball, homework, tests, and my mom's boyfriend. There's too much going on! My saneness balloon is going to pop. I just want to grab my hair and pull it out but the roots. I can't take it anymore! This isn't healthy. On top of it all, I think I am getting sick, again. What am I going to do?

Almost everyday this week, I have cried after school. I think I am losing it because stress usually doesn't do this to me. I need time to relax. Can't vacation come any sooner?

God, school is tearing me up. We have like everything going on at once and I have to spend all of my extra time working on everything. I need to get good grades this year but it's been much harder. I actually retake tests this year. I know it's crazy.

Because of school, I've had friendship problems. I haven't been able to talk or hang with anyone and people are getting frustrated with me. I haven't been myself lately either. I can't think straight and I have said some things that were wrong. To everyone who I have been mean to lately, I am sorry. I am not putting other people first like I usually do and I will stop being moody.

Stress needs to exist though. If we didn't have stress, we wouldn't have peacefullness right?