I'm Back!!

Ok so I know that I haven't posted in a while and that like no one is on this anymore but I'm gonna change that! Blogger and I am back!

I'm done with guys

Sweet. Loving. Cute......Stupid. Selfish. Jerks. Players.........

Man I hate stupid guys. You hang out with them and start to like them but for what? They pretend to like you for a while and then leave without saying goodbye if they dont get what they want.

My love life lately has been at an all-time low and I can honestly say that I dont really care anymore. I hate getting hurt so Im just going to stop putting myself in the postion where I am most vulnerable. I can live without having a boyfriend, right?

Who am I kidding there is no way to get guys out of my life. I'm just the kinda girl that guys like to play with and I hate it. Why cant there be a sweet guy who actually likes me for who I am out there? I'm sick of players and want someone who has meaning behind what they say.

Does that even make sense? Well I definitely cant live with guys, but I could never survive without them.

Ahhhhhh!!!

Ok so I know I haven't written in forever but I am so frustrated.

So this weekend, we had a tournament. At the tournament, we won our first game. Not only was it the first game of the tournament but it was our first win ever. Cool right? Anyway, then we got beat by Crush. Man that team is so stupid! We shoulda beat the s*%t out of them, but no. Our team from the morning was gone. Vanished. Amscray. We showed up and were a team that our coaches were embarrassed to be on. It sucks so bad. We were missing ground balls, pop flies, and catches. I'm not saying that I did better than everyone because I didn't. I let balls by me, and I hit pretty crappy besides the one hit that ended up being a double.

Still, we should've been able to pick ourselves up the next game and we couldn't. We played Quinn's Nevada Lightning Team and got beat. A lot of it I am putting on myself though. I was behind the plate and should've been calming everyone down and I didn't. If anyone on Storm is reading this, I'm sorry. Beside that, the ending score was like 17 to zip. Sucks.

Then, ending our run, we played Crush again. The first inning was amazing. Three up, three down, and we got hits. Then it went down hill. They took advantage of our faults and beat us. There's nothing more to be said.

After everything, my coach made us run. I'm not talking about just a jog, I'm talking about sprints. The whole time he was yelling at us and screaming his guts out. Barely anyone could breathe. It didn't help at all.

I don't think it was completely fair to make us all run that much. Some would've been ok but not that much. At the end, I couldn't breathe at all and I'm in pretty good shape. It sucks. I need to go blow off some steam.....

Relief

Everything in my life has been running on a mountain lately but right now, its hit a smooth path. I am so relieved that I got into IB. Thats over and done with. No more stressing over high school. Whoo-hoo!

Next, my grades are good (not that they ever aren't). I'm not really even trying and I am exceeding.

Also, most of my friend troubles are gone. I am getting along with people because I am bottling it up again. I guess if thats what it takes then i'm committed to it. I hate fighting with people and there are a lot of girls I actually want to fight right now. This has never happened until late this year. What's going on? Is this happening because I am bottling thing up? O well. I can behave myself and not get into fights. I mean who could take me? Lol.

..... But with relief, there's more stress. Lately my stresses have been about softball. I am competing for a catchers postion and I wont let it go! Plus, they are dividing us into teams on Tuesday and I am afraid that I am gonna be on the bad team. GOD! I hate having to wait. It's killing me. And on top of it all, I killed my knee. It doesnt hurt anymore but my dad wont let me go to my optional practice tomorrow. Now how am I going to get that position??????????

Goose Egg

So there I was, stepping out of line to take my turn at catching a pop-fly at my softball practice. I bent my knees and rocked side to side on the balls of my feet. Ready.
The ball cracked off my coach's bat and sailed through the air. I turned on my heels and ran to the right attempting to catch the ball over my shoulder. What a dumb move. As the ball neared my mitt, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to snag it out of the air but it was too close for me to react.
BAM! The ball came and hit me right under my left eye on my cheek bone. It stung but my eyes only teared up as the other girls on my team rushed over to check if I was ok. They were more scared than I was.
One girl touched where I had been and said," Holy s@*t! You can see the laces of the ball on your face." I must have been hit pretty hard but I didn't care. I had been hit harder before and I really don't want to wear one of those girly clear masks to protect my face. They are stupid and you cannot see out of them. Plus part of the game is getting hurt. If that means having the red goose egg on my cheek then I guess it's worth it.

Music

Everywhere you go it follows you. Can you ever get away from it? There's always the beat of your shoes on the ground or the rush of the wind. Music is everywhere.

It is the beat by which my life lives. My shoes tap, my heart beats, my breath pants. It's all around us. A universe without music is like a universe without life. We would be plain, and boring. For there not to be music, there would have to be no sound at all. Could you imagine?

Everyday I come home and listen to my tunes. It winds me down and lets me think. Could you live without music? Even a simple beat like that of your heart? I think people would go crazy without it. We would die and be complicated. I need music... Do you?

My new Haircut